HAPPY HAPPY LOVEFOOL

There might be something more wrong than my usual 'wrong'. I woke up today with that Cardigans song 'lovefool' in my head and it won't go away...I feel a major change in my not too distant future! I applied online for a bunch of open positions, everything from the T.S.A. to a Kraft factory position. All of these jobs make good money-which I desperately need! I have no pride anymore, I'll wear a hair net if they want me to...I just can't go on in this state o' brokeness anymore! My job gives me some ridiculous certificate every week-perfect attendance-great customer service...I got one yesterday for the 'get happy team'-which basically means I don't come to work frowning and ready to kill every mother fucker I run into...but behind that carefully placed grin, I am thinking about it...If I get one more piece o' paper and no raise, I might just lose it for reals this time! The truth is, I am one of those eternal optimists, even at my worst I can see the silver lining, I like to be happy...it's a lot easier than being a miserable, hate-filled bastard! No matter how bad things get with me, its just money-I can make more. So, on that note...I love=love. I liked the idea when I was younger and did not know better, but having been truly in love...I know how crazy it is. True love makes you nuts, you think about stupid things that normally wouldn't cross your mind...is he/she thinking of me , too? You worry...Worst of all, even though it makes you feel awful inside, there is not a force on earth that could stop you from being with that person...trust me on this one. Whoa...getting a little bit serious here. Maybe I'll just talk about the little things I am obsessing over this week. Most important, Easter candy...especially Peeps. I get so excited by all the colors, when I was a kid there was only yellow...and no bunny peeps...Next, I love breakfast cereal like a six year old...Fruity Pebbles has long been a favorite, now there is Cupcake Pebbles. I probably would have bought this stuff from the box color alone...lovely pink and blue...
I also have a lifetime compulsion with lip gloss...there are about 10 in my purse right now and I probably own about 25. I got two new ones at work from this company called MOR, I picked out 'sorbet' and 'marshmallow' because they were pink and blue and sounded yummy...I was not disappointed! Lastly, I love Somerset Beauty Supply Company's cherry blossom soap. It comes in a huge pink tin, it lasts forever, smells heavenly and says right on the package 'with sugar' who could ask for anything more? I am sure you've noticed that I have not mentioned any drunken escapades...there have been a few too many for me lately...need to take short whiskey break before I die. Last time I sang karaoke until 4 or 5 am and felt soooooo bad the next day...having downed both Jameson and Jim Beam. Wish me luck on my job-hunt/spring fever love quest!

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Joseph Gordon-Levitt Stole the Covers Off My Dreams

I hope everyone had a good St. Patrick's Day. I am not Irish. I did not wear green. I worked all day, got one pinch. I lived and bar tended in Savannah, Ga for many years. If you don't already know, it's a huge St.Patty's party down there...I've had a lifetimes worth. I would, however, like to thank the Irish for their whiskey, beer and hot men with cute accents.
Now...moving on to my latest obsession: I bought '500 Days of Summer' a few weeks ago at Target because Entertainment Weekly gave it an 'A' a million years ago when it first came out. I love Zooey Deschanel, always have. I knew Joseph Gordon-Levitt was a child actor that went legit-indie films, plays...I did not know that I would develop an obsession with the man! I have watched that movie like, 10-20 times since I bought it...worse than my 3 year old on a 'My Little Pony' binge...I feel sick when I go too long without him. I love every expression he makes. I love the way his eyes go all squinty when he smiles. I felt super-psycho when I googled him and found out he went to Columbia University. I love New York! He speaks French. I took French for years! I love all things French...food, wine, art, cool accents...
We both love poetry. I wonder how he feels about the classics...would he understand my love of ancient Greece? Would he want to talk about it for hours?
See what happens when I don't have sex? I become the 9th grade version of myself. So lame.
I wonder what he likes to drink..does he like sushi? children?
I love Zooey just as much, but she's married to Ben Gibbard of 'Death Cab for Cutie/Postal Service' fame. I could always fantasize abut being in a Zooey-Ben sammich...
I want everyone to go and watch '500 Days of Summer'. Let me know if you love it. If you don't, that's cool, but why not?
I believe I will drift off to sleep tonight dreaming of a long, wet lick up that boys hip-bone.
Joe? Are you out there? Lets talk poetry over a drink sometime...oui? non?

TRUE LOVE FOREVER, COREY R.I.P.

I wrote about Corey Feldman in my 11/8/09 blog entitled 'Irish Whiskey or Kentucky Bourbon?' I was reminiscing over my love of both Corey's...Haim and Feldman...So I am crushed over Corey Haim's untimely death. I loved all those terrible movies. I am so sick of reading about how good he was in 'Lucus' . I count the Lost Boys as one of my all-time favorite films. I am not embarrassed to admit I still have my original ticket stubs to 'Dream a Little Dream' and 'License to Drive'. I guess I was hoping for a Robert Downey Jr.-type of life change...when he would get sober and make decent films again...he probably felt that no one cared about him anymore and he would not be missed. But I do.

Rat Race Retail

Oh poverty! You bring out the worst in us all! There has been an opening at my job, which means someone got fired. In this case, the poor slob deserved it...maybe she would do better in the fast-food racket. In the high-class world of hourly wage retail, you can't wear that hideous 'slipknot' hoodie to work on a daily basis. This position that everyone wants is like one I had at 19, but here I am, so desperate to get this raise that I have done everything but lick peoples shoes for it. My pride has been replaced painful humiliation! I am so over-qualified that I almost wish I were a bigger loser, in order to seem MORE pathetic!
Ugh. New topic. I also have not gotten any in forever, which is making me crazy and depressed. I have also noticed that guys seem to constantly hit on me when I am in this weakened state. Hello? God? Is this one of those will power tests? The boys in this town are gross, but the Internet boys have never looked finer! Maybe its my new glasses...gives me the whole 'I'm naughty and nice' vibe...
Well, reading this over I am assured that my blog has absolutely no point...as always.
saving the good whiskey to drink this weekend...